The Amazing Race

Every day, at our house, a most amazing race takes place.  It is not only a battle of speed, but that of stealth and wits.  It is a competition of the minds. We call it……..DUM DUM DUM!

Bathroom: Man Vs. Cat

Some animals sense foreboding danger, such as tornadoes or earthquakes.  Our cat senses your need to ‘go potty’ (more specifically, #2), and his response is to beat you to his litter box so that he may do his ‘thing’ first, while you must suffer the imminent cat poo fumes he produces.

Let me elaborate on the situation.  The cat box is in our bathroom, approximately 2 feet from our potty.  Therefore, should he beat you to the punch, you are forced to suffer by inhaling cat fumes, if you will.

At first, we thought it was a fluke.  Then, we thought his ‘gift’ was sort of funny.  Now, it is nothing short of irritating when you have to try and sneak into the bathroom to do your ‘business’ in peace (and cat fume-free air).  I’d like to say that we outsmart the cat, but I’d be lying to you.  Oh, sure, we TRY to slip into the ‘loo on the sly, but I kid you not, by the time you nonchalantly place a foot outside of the bathroom door, there is a big, furry blur of orange dashing between your feet, and he takes a four foot flying leap into the litter box.  Before you can say, “Crap!”, he has already assumed the position, and is doing just that.  What makes this even more interesting is that Jason has the most sensitive sense of smell out of everyone that I know.   So, there is no way that he and Garfield can possibly occupy the same bathroom while performing the same action, without Jason gagging and possibly losing consciousness.  Now you can see why the bid to get to the bathroom first is so desperate.  And THEN, as if to rub it in, the cat spends the next ten minutes covering his little treasure.  Oh sure, he could cover it in three swipes, but he loves to torture people who have a desperate need to use the facilities.  Never mind that if we happen to not be present during his bathroom break he rarely covers it at all.

So, the other day I was washing dishes when Jason announced “he’d be out in a minute”.  Big mistake.  Before he could shut the bathroom door, Jason grabbed my arm and said, “Just look at this!”.  I peered into the bathroom, and there was Garfield in PC (pooping cat) position, with his eyes half shut.  He looked up at me as if to say, “What?”.  No one can perform that task as non-chalantly as a cat.  In fact, he looked as though he needed some reading glasses and a newspaper.

Anyway, until next time, we’ll be working on beating the cat.  So far: Cat: 421, Man: 2

3 thoughts on “The Amazing Race

  1. That’s too funny! I believe it! Cats (and all animals for that fact) are so much more intelligent creatures than most people think!!!! I think I would be finding Garfield a new “restroom” aka “Laundry room”!!! Sorry if my spelling and/or grammar is anything shy of the best…..several days with VERY little sleep, NO contacts or glasses on AND typing on a blackberry equals poor results, but I’m sure you get the picture! Xoxoxo!!!

  2. Ah the bog of eternal stench bathroom you must have.
    Cat fecal dust is no laughing matter. Their odor is like an old dog fart swallowed by an open wound.

    have fun winning your race. I say keep a toy on a shelf or counter and when it comes in or gets near, you just throw the toy and counter move.

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