There’s No ‘Fun’ in Fungi

About 3 weeks ago, Jason and I were ‘backroading’ some of our county’s fine dirt roads.  In true redneck fashion, I always carry my rechargeable spotlight to check out anything interesting we may see along the way. What can I say? I’m a nighttime naturalist. So, we came upon a couple of coons in trees and a snake or two. Then, as we were heading back home, we saw a big group of ‘somethings’ on the side of the road.  Jason thought they may be possums, but as we got closer, no, it was just a starving group of ragtag kittens.

Now, one thing that drives me absolutely insane is when people don’t deal with an issue and it becomes YOUR issue. Like when other people litter, allow their dog to bark all night long, or someone is so kind and gracious that they dump their unwanted pets upon your doorstep. Thinks like that make me a little closer to crazy.

So here is a whooooole passel of cats; a virtual cat assortment, half-dead with starvation sitting patiently by the roadside to wait for someone…anyone to come and pick them up.  I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised…things like this happen to me all the time. Once you have worked in a vet practice, you are cursed   blessed with such gifts at every turn. I feel like a Statue of Animal Charity:

“Give me your unwanted, packed with louse*,

Your un-neutered masses yearning to spray pee,

The hairless refuse of your teeming house.

Send these, the homeless, parasite-laden to me,

With anthelminitics* and shampoo I shall douse.

(*: yes, I know the plural is lice…it didn’t work for the poem, and * #2, that is a fancy word for wormer)

Somehow, getting 5 cats into our vehicle wasn’t much of a problem (thank you Jesus for that…I still have my eyes and skin intact), and we got them home.  Most everything was going pretty well, besides the fact I had become the Insta-Crazy Cat Lady in a span of 5 minutes and the annoying fact that I simply do not want a pet cat, much less five. I even like cats, but when you’re in the process of downsizing, adding 5 more mouths to your home doesn’t make much sense. Fortunately, or perhaps ‘un’ (keep reading), we adopted out the two babies, so I was down to scooping 3 cat poos a day. And by the way, who came up with scented cat litter? They ought to be forced to sit in a room sniffing mounds of Country Flower Fresh poop. Adding perfume to cat crap is what I would label an epic disaster. Thank heavens they poop a lot so I could hurry up and get a non-scented box of litter that DIDN’T smell like someone sprayed a floral Glade air freshener on fecal matter.

Anyhoo, so this week on Animal Rescue House, we all broke out in itchy red bumps…which magically morphed into circles and we all look like a really gross and creepy dot-to-dot. You know where I’m going, don’t you? Yes, the fun and exciting fungal world of Tinea corporis AKA ringworm. Oh, the joy of zoonotic disease!  Oh, how gleeful I was to have my skin blister and peel away. It’s so fun I almost could scream…in fact, I already have!  I love going through about 100 Band-Aids a day and the feeling of sheer dread when I get the slightest itch anywhere on my body. I LOVE DEALING WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S ISSUES!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!

Maybe next time, I’ll tell you all about the time I got lice from one of my kids and got to comb them out of my two foot long hair!  I already have the blog title: “Party Lice it’s Nit-Teen Ninety Nine”.

Parasites suck. That is all.