Now, now, certainly you weren’t thinking about that book, were you?

I have wanted to paint our bedroom grey ever since I saw this photo:

The windows are the same as they are in our room, and yes, I already hung up two quilts on the bar, just as displayed. Sadly, I still lack a brass bed. I bought a gallon of paint a few months back (okay…maybe a year?) and I did a test patch on our wall. Yes, I know…I know…that was stupid. Always buy a sample first, right? So then I went down to our Sherwin-Williams yesterday and grabbed these samples. As I was comparing them to the color I already had (and paid for), I thought, “Y’know, I really didn’t do too bad there.”

So maybe I’ll stick with what I have.

Anyway, my real question is this: Have you ever picked a color, or were strangely attracted to a color for its name alone? And conversely, have you been repulsed by said color, even though you really did LIKE it, for crying out loud, and just couldn’t commit to it due to the name?

So it goes with Sherwin-Williams’ color names. Grey is a very popular color right now and I have no doubt that thousands of people across the nation have repainted their bedrooms with it. Let’s take a look at some of the names, shall we? Let’s start out with the less offensive ones then delve into the more…disagreeable ones, and keep your bedroom in mind, m’kay? And yes, these are all very real color names.

Reserved White: okay.

Nebulous White: mmmhmm

Functional Gray: That’s always good…

Online: That could be good or bad, I suppose.

Unusual Gray: Well…

Night Owl: I haven’t seen you very much lately.

Passive: Hello?

Attitude Gray: Well, I don’t think I really…

Gray Area: Wait, I really didn’t mean…

Analytical Gray: Now don’t take it that way!

Dorian Gray: There’s certainly no need for insults here.

Anonymous: Who was on the phone?

Aloof Gray: ….

Ponder: ???

Frosty White: (crickets chirping)

Big Chill: (really?)

Thunderous: !

Rock Bottom: Yes, really.

So I would like to know, where is “Icy Reception”?  Or perhaps “Separate Room” or maybe even “Alimony Gray”?

I think Sherwin-Williams really needs a new person to name these colors. I searched longingly for anything with ‘Darby’ or ‘Pemberley’ in it, but sadly, these are not available in any tint or shade at SW. Frankly, ‘Darby’ could be hot orchid and I would consider it. However, I was somewhat excited to find a ‘Wickham Gray’ with Benjamin Moore, though I have doubts as to how long that shade would stay on the walls and how much money it would cost me.

Heck, even a ‘Foggy Morn’ or ‘Glistening Dew’ would suffice:

or ‘Dampened Muslin’ or ‘Pemberley Pond’:

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

As for the actual book of “Fifty Shades”, I have it stashed in my car in the deepest recesses of my trunk. I like to be prepared for all possible situations, and I heard it was always a good idea to keep around something in case you become stranded and need something to wipe your tush.

#AustenForTheWin